| So I sit here enjoying a slice of original style Sara Lee cheesecake. Contemplating the change the past two weeks have brought upon me.
It seems all those years of complaining about "never finding the right one" have finally caught up to me. The desires of trying to find her and the frustrations of being let down at every turn, all that, added up to nothing more than wasted energy.
And now, I find myself with someone, someone who is extremely happy with me, and I with her. But we found each other in the oddest possible positions; we found each other through the most unique of circumstances. I don't think I've gone into detail in any of my writings about how I met Tuesday, despite the fact that I've wrote about her a lot.
It all started simply because I had to pick up my sister from school every day back a semester ago. So, while waiting the additional 4 minutes it takes her to go to her locker then come outside with her boyfriend (yes, I've clocked it before), I would watch people walking by. I saw many people walking by, and I identified them with names I made up myself. There, of course, was my first sighting of Tuesday.
Now, this isn't a sappy "love at first sight" type of ordeal. I just thought she looked like someone cool to hang out with, but that she was too young for me. So I never approached her. I just took note of her, and several others, that I saw daily walking "home from school."
Several months went past like that, and then I got bored one day on livejournal and searched for "Corbin high school students" via one of their interest searches. Oddly enough, a girl who had an obsession with anime appeared up on the screen with the username "Tuesday." I left a message saying she seemed interesting, or something of the sort. Only later did I find out it was the girl I had seen walking home so many times before. What's more, she was actually 18, not the 16 or younger I believed.
Then I found out about her boyfriend, so I knew that part was off limits. Instead, having met a cool person, I was going to add her to the collection of Internet friends I made over the years in similar arrangements, the type that forget after a while. Oddly enough, she would have none of it and ended up showing up at my house one day. We ended up hiking a five-mile mountain trail with only her gay friend Matt to protect her from this strange 6-foot tall long-haired hippy. I ended up scaring him more than her.
After that, we became pretty good friends, albeit distant. I even joined her boyfriend's band after helping him with a PA system. Things seemed average, albeit I still had the loneliness inside of me that most people became used to hearing about. My last post about Noctem was really the last time this would all be like that.
She spent the night here once, but we didn't even touch. I fell asleep at about 10 am (having been up all night), only to wake up about noon to see her sleep beside me. I shrugged and fell back asleep. It was only later did we cuddle to fall asleep, but we never kissed until her relationship was over, I'll state that right now. She did not cheat on him, no matter what anyone else thinks.
Anyways, it was apparent to me until later that I was not the only one feeling some sort of attraction to her. I knew she was a friend and supposed to be nothing more, and it's a feeling I get with a lot of people. Instead, it just kept growing as we got closer. I think our trips to Cumberland Falls were the turning point or something, because then we just fell together. I wasn't even really that aware other than daydreaming about her feelings for me until she came out in pure embarrassment and told me. I was actually speechless (she seems to have that ability with me).
She then broke up with the guy she had been dating for 2 1/2 years. However, according to her, I served only as the catalyst of the reaction. She had been crying and spending a lot of time in through for weeks before about it. Everyone they knew noticed the decay in their relationship. Hell, even I did, and I wasn't around the two of them that much at the time. I guess what I'm saying is, she didn't break up with him to date me. That was not the plan.
The day she broke up with him, I found her wandering the streets of Corbin. I picked her up with some line about her being the second hitchhiker of the day I had picked up (the first being my former band mate Tony, whom I still need to talk to about the decay of the band). I could tell right away she was hurt, so I brought her here and kind of forced her to talk to me about it. She told me that she broke up with Phil, and he took it pretty hard. I again, was speechless.
Immediately, I offered her a place to stay. Did her laundry for her (I let her use a pair of my pj's that I never use and a shirt I never wear for a change). She ended up spending the weekend. I even cooked for her. We didn't leave each other's side for more than an hour that entire time. I think I added it all up to 84 hours together before she left to try to mend things at her home. In her defense, and in my own, I must say this much, though it's not really anyone's business. We did not do anything sexual that weekend. We slept in the same bed, and talked a lot. That was it. We weren't dating, and neither of us could really even rationally think of doing that.
Regardless, she went back home and I barely heard from her for two days. What went on there is between him and her, not something I wish to write about. The two of them have their own life and past together, that's something that I can't change even if I wanted to.
The important thing is I'm happy. She claims to be happy as well. I do feel bad for Phil, and I didn't wish him any harm (albeit he seems to hate me now). I never meant to hurt him, and neither did she. She actually cried about it over here for a while because she didn't want to hurt him so badly. But there is just no other way. I wish things could be simple.
At least they're getting easier. Shes asleep right now behind me, tired from a day of cleaning up my room. Its odd, but I seem to be able to get more done with her around (cooking, cleaning, laundry) than when I have free time alone. She truly is amazing. Well, WE'RE truly amazing together. |
